Again, The Tears are Falling

No matter how hard I tried to deny things.
I know, I can't lie to myself...

Let It Be My Forever Secret

I was happy awhile ago. So excited to make another surprise and see your smile and cheery comments.
But when I joined in, I got the signal that tonight is not the right time. The atmosphere was kinda tense. I feel uneasy, I was disappointed.

Why can't we fix that issue until now? Why we always let things hanging undecided? Until when we keep acting this way? Until WHEN?

Crestfallen. What else could I say? My good mood was ruined. The image of drifting into sleep with a smile disappeared right away after the meet up.

I... I don't know if I'd still let you know about this after tonight. I sensed that even a joke was no longer  funny for you.

Should I give up?

Do I need to be blunt?

Just because I didn't say anything, didn't mean that I was OK with it.

I hate the way you said it so casually as if it's nothing. For me it's a big deal which determined my decision of staying or quitting this field.

I didn't say a thing, waiting for you to realize it by yourself. But seems like it'd never happen.
So, do I need to shout on your face for you to know it?

Please be sensitive with others feeling!

First Rant

I'm upset.

I'm upset. For who knows what reason.
I'm upset. I'm really upset.

I wanna shout, I wanna break something. I'm upset.
But only tears streaming down my cheeks.

I'm upset.
I wanna curse, I wanna kick. But it's not myself.
So I'm just crying...

I'm upset.
I can't hold it anymore that I'm choking my breath.

I wanna stop these tears but I'm fail.
I'm upset. And tears always be the output of this feeling.

I'm upset.
I wanna blame someone but there's no one at fault.

I'm upset.
I could only crying...